(Source: deterioravel)

just a sneak peek at my beautiful little boy. thanks to my little sister for giving me the gift of this 3d 4d ultrasound. its was well worth it and amazing experience

Cant wait to have you in my arms Zachary!

7 months 28weeks belllyy :)

Last night though»>…it felt so right. Everything did…up until i woke up at 3 and started brain f-ing myself…

Overall it was what we needed. And im glad it happened the way it did.

All of our ultrasounds so far…:’)

wahhhh i forgot about landoooo & nick demoura! this video made me happyy :)

bwahahahaha i love theeeeemmmmm

getting out of this down and out mood by watching my loves on youtube. :)

brian pusposs

ian eastwood

kyle hanagami

and adam sevani.

theres so much i have to say. i either dont know how to say it, want to say it but cant, or just think being quiet about it will cause problems.

i want things to change. i honestly do. to better myself, to better my family, and to better him.

i hope that what was said last night was real. and that this is just a stepping stone into making things better.

people can talk and say that im stupid for allowing things to go on like this. but theres always two ends to a story and i know that im a handful as well.

i go back to saying that this is OUR family we’re making. OUR life were making. its up to US to figure out how things work out. no just him, not just me, but US. 

If hes willing to change everything about him so we can make things work, im willing to change my ways to better the situation. hes has to change in order to keep us around if thats what he really wants. its a must.

i just want to be happy. for me, and for my son. i honestly hope things will change.

i hear this song and Anything Like Me & just picture Carlos and Zachary. :’) I cant wait til youre here baby.

Getting through this will be one of our toughest challenges yet.